In my several decades as a clinical psychologist, I’ve seen lots of evidence that how happy people are depends largely on how well they follow through on their own good intentions.
My belief that there’s a relationship between happiness and follow through has been nourished over and over again by exposure to happy people who generally do a pretty good job of following through and unhappy people who generally suck at following through.
Of course, it’s seeing how much unhappiness can be caused by poor follow through that’s been the driving force behind my decades-long quest to identify, develop, and teach people effective follow through strategies.
Zeroing in
Lately, however, I’ve been thinking that it’s not how well we follow through in general that determines how happy we are. My hunch is that we’re happiest when we’re actively implementing all the good intentions we’ve adopted. It doesn’t matter whether we have lots of good intentions or few. What matters is that we’re making good on all the ones we have. And it’s having good intentions that we’re not making good on that robs us of happiness.
The truth is, hauling around unimplemented intentions is exhausting, happiness-eroding work.
Ready for some surprising advice?
So, what should you do if you have good intentions that you’re not making good on? The first and best thing, of course, is to try using follow through strategies to implement them. But if that fails, there’s another way to keep those “dead weight” unimplemented intentions from robbing you of happiness.
Just dump them! Yes, I’m serious. Dump them!
How to get rid of your unimplemented intentions
When there’s nothing more you can and/or are willing to do to follow through on intentions you’ve already adopted, it’s time to stop hauling them around with you. They’re just weighing you down and doing you no good at all.
How do you dump them? Well, it’s critically important that you’re deliberate and explicit in declaring independence from your unimplemented intentions. Tell yourself…
“After careful consideration, I no longer intend to [do the thing I once intended to do].”
And keep telling yourself that until you feel the relief that comes from getting rid of a good intention that’s not doing you any good.
You can learn more in the Follow Through Mindset course, which is available to members enrolled in the Follow Through Master Program